CategoryJournal

This Is the Working Hour

While I have written a lot on this blog this year about writing, I haven’t been actually writing. I could list a bunch of reasons why, but the most important reason is that I am bored with the way I write.

It isn’t good when the thing you do as a hobby feels like more work than your actual work, right?

I don’t want to stop writing, but I have to rethink how I am going about it if I want this to be something that would be worth reading. I have a few ideas, which means the next few posts may be a bit random. Hopefully, they will help me move on or at least establish some discipline.

Also, hopefully, this isn’t the last post I write for weeks or months because I keep trashing drafts I worked on for weeks or months. That’s where I am at now and that would mean I made no damned progress whatsoever.

You Wonder Where You Are

Why, hello there!

It’s taken me a while to get back into the swing of things since last I posted. I traveled to a workshop for work and then got home just in time for Eurovision to properly kick off.

My wife and I write a lot for our blog during the days leading up to Eurovision. I originally planned to keep writing for this website as well, but realized very quickly how unrealistic that idea was. I do not think about anything else but the Song Contest when I am not at work or child-rearing. And even child-rearing has become more about Eurovision now that our son is old enough to have strong opinions about it.

I had planned to write about my experiences at the workshop, but I am still trying to strike a balance between what I think is awesome or interesting or challenging about my job and what will be of interest to people who aren’t me. The workshop was a lot of fun, but so much of it is tied to minutiae related to my place of work that I struggle to make it broadly applicable.

This is part of the reason why I often find myself struggling to maintain a library science-related blog. I get stuck on trying to make my work experiences feel universal and then shut down when I can’t do it. So my task is to figure out how to get out neutral and move forward. It’s all apart of my broader need to get out of my own head, I guess.

Until then…

I Don’t Even Think to Make Corrections

I’ve been driving down this road holding a map to the beach. It seemed like a straightforward route and at a certain point, I hit a stretch of the road where I stopped consulting the map.

So I didn’t notice that the highway divided and I ended up on a parallel route. I can still see the road I intended to be on, but I can also see in the distance that the two roads are going to diverge and I will be heading away from the beach and towards the mountains instead.

I pull over. I check the map to figure out how to get to the beach from where I am. I spend a lot of time staring at that map. Then I look up and I see the mountains on the horizon. As I stare at them, I realize that I ended up on the right path despite myself.

Now I am trying to figure out how to get to where I want to go. I was packed for the beach, so I need provisions and sundries for the mountains. Really, though, the first thing I need is a map.

Resolutions for 2016

Another year has past. Let’s hope the next beats the last. Here’s what I have planned for myself in 2016:

Read 10 books

Specifically, I resolve to read 10 books that I’ve bought and never read. I am good at buying books and not good at reading them.

Meditate

Basically, I’ve done a good job with my physical health in the past couple of years, so this year I am going to work on my mental health.

That’s it: no need to overburden myself.

See you next year!

 

Thanksgiving

It has been a long, strange year. It’s been a bit tumultuous, and if I am going to work on anything next year, it’s how best to make decisions while in the eye of a hurricane.

My confidence took a hit this year, and I’ve found my triple-guessing myself quite a bit as the year went along. I can’t say I read some inspiring article on how to improve your confidence and now it’s gonna be smooth sailing here on out. But I saw how I handle things under stress and reflected on how I process information, which makes me feel like I can proceed with anything without my mind torturing my psyche about alternatives and consequences.

Personal mental melodrama aside, this year was a mixed bag. I lost one of my grandmothers and almost lost the other. Some friends and family have had to deal with some serious shit, and the jury is still out on how they are going to come out of it. I am thankful they’re still here and I am still hoping for the best.

But on the other hand, the highs of the year were pretty high. Work has been going well for both my wife and me, and my son is doing good in school (occasional transformations from Bruce Banner into the Incredible Hulk aside). We are hale and hearty and I hope we stay that way in the coming year.

I have a lot to be thankful for, and I prefer to reflect on all that on the day custom-built to do so, even if it makes for a blog post that sounds more like a New Year’s Eve post than a Thanksgiving eve post.

Anyway, if I get all that personal sentimental stuff out of the way now, I can focus on the eating and drinking for the next month. So Happy Thanksgiving and may your next 365 days treat you well.

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